Monologue

Okay. I am in a perfectly confused mood, tired and now, I guess feeling sleepy as well. Thanks to the afternoon lunch.
*yawn*

It's been 4 hours, since I started drafting it. And here I am, still thinking, what else to write, is it good enough?
And to add to the effect, I want to write something NOW and wrap it up. But taking breaks is always advisary. And within seconds.
Ctrl+T
New Tab Opened.
Facebook. Orkut. Twitter. Period.

And then I logged in to my blogger dashboard. YES! My concentration, suddenly shifted to my blog, which I had abandonned for quite a while.

Umm. I'm thinking of posting something. I should. But what should I? Expressing my thoughts frankly, is all what I can possibly think of right now.
I think I need a laptop. Or a new fish.
Yes, I want a pet. Naomi also turned 1 today. Yes, a pet might cheer me up. :)

Or completing my Curriculum Vitae? Yes, I was drafting my CV. (I guess did mention drafting something in the beginning.)

Oh crap! I'v lost it.
Hmmmmm. Music cures everything. Music with a video would be nice.
But what should I listen, Fleet Foxes? Oooohh! Yeah! :)


I have started thinking about something, a lot since yesterday. I also had detailed coversations about it from past 1 week. Even people at college noticed. (They noticed? Good sign.)
'Anusheema seems tensed.'
'She's become a lot more sincere.'

But to be honest, I hardly have. Infact, I might never be the sincere student I always hallucinate of. Maybe I should just give up on that!
Maybe I should just leave everything, and go on a permanent holiday! Maybe I should...... Damn it!
And it's always a MAYBE!

It has always been difficult for me to figure out what I want. What interests me more! Sometimes, I go like, 'Woahh! Eureka! I KNOW IT!'
And then, after sometime, I go back to saying.
'Umm. Nahhh. Maybe something else.'

And thus life always revolves around that stupid, maybe.
And know what? I have now started being indifferent towards it. It's something, yes, I know. That has to stay. And most probably. It will.
Strange. I realize that I STILL can't recognize the voice of my own self. Yes, that's funny because I have a record of talking to myself endlessly all the damn time.
A friend of mine had once said, 'You'll have multiple careers.'
(Oh yes! I love palmistry.)
Infact, any possible 'istry' or 'logy' that can tell me what I will do next!

Gosh! I sound like I am on drugs. But No. I am not.
I am just. Thinking.

And while taking breaks, I just found one of our professors on facebook!'
A great FB stalker I am. :P

Alright, I am jobless, I admit. But soon, I will not be.

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And it's DONE. My CV is ready to hit the tables. It definitely feels comforting this one time.
Sometime soon, I will be doing some constructive project. Hopefully!

No. No. No. Even the very thought of not getting through those places hurts. :|
I don't want to think about it!
Yes, things will certainly fall into place, the moment I stop being online, and study something.
YES! That's exactly what I need.
After hours of just drafting a CV. Now, I will study. Economics!

I wonder how these Commerce students study this Subject. Of all I could gather is that, it is made of assumptions. And for us Science students, it is so difficult to conclude on things, based JUST on assumptions.
Damn the Subject!
Like it or not. I just have to. I better get going.

Maybe I might just end up liking the subject. Maybe. Or chuck it!
Whatever!